Britney Spears and Isaac Cohen have been going
together for about a month now. When I saw him,
I said " Britney Spears hooked back up with Kevin
Federline." But it turned out to be his stunt double.
Surely Ked has got some advice for the soon to be
Mr.Spears and step baby daddy. I genuinely feel sorry
for this guy. I mean anybody willing to take KFed's sloppy
seconds, and actually persue that exhasperated stretch
of skin that persperates between Britney's thighs has
got to be desperate for some action. The only beef I
have with this relationship is that they can never be
a Hollywod couple. Their names do not fit together
at all. Spohen? Cohitney? Brisaac? They are all
retarded. Nevertheless, KFed has some pointers
for this ex model and overpublisized paparazzi target.
1. Just because Britney is attractive now, doesn't mean
she will be in 2 weeks. She has a habit of sitting poolside
in a sunbathing chair and breaking out every square inch
of her face with acne and gaining 20 lbs. as soon as she
thinks she will have a man reguardless.
2.Before commiting to a long term relationship,
be ready to part with your career. Be it back up dancer
or model, dating Britney Spears is equal to cosigning your
profession to the dumpster as people will continually
see you as "that guy who was with Spears."
3. By dating Britney Spears you are taking responsibility
for her 2 sons. Sean and Jayden. That is a large reponsibility
and something 2 yearly photo layouts in GQ will not pay
for.
4. Do everyone a favor, and record a sex video. It makes great
leverage in a divorce trial and better than a 401k after your
inevitable split.
5.Once you are a nationally recognized figure, remember, no
matter how bright eyed young man you are, you will soon
be dubbed the most loathed celebrity in America. And
that only leaves you with D-list spots on cable.
Of course all of this news will end up being B-list info anyway.
Britney has continually dragged on, not making any new music
for her new album. Jive Records is threatening to drop her,
again. And so far she has done nothing but puke in pulic,
party with the worst crowd and ignore her kids. Even when
she does show up to record no one wants to get on the ball
cause they have no idea how to market it. I mean the phrase
"I'm not so innocent" isn't exactly the attitude of the month
when Paris Hilton is looking at you saying "that girl is fuckin
nuts she needs to calm down." The label is saying that they
are going to release her cd in late 2007. That sounds about right
for a cd that has been worked on for over 6 months.I keep
track of everything she does. And all I can say at the end of the day
is, we need new national hero.
No comments:
Post a Comment