Ultra Hollywood 2006 Poem

'Twas the end of a long year...

And time to reflect.

On Tinseltown tidings...

To remember, to forget.

We also heard sorry

When Mel drank too much...

But it didn't affect

His box office touch.

With dollars in hand,

Ticket buyers lined up...

To see the Pirates again...

And a country tow truck.

Snakes on a plane...

Had the internet buzzing.

Lots of hype for a film

That turned out to be nothing.

We got another James Bond...

And a new Superman...

Plus a wacky reporter

From Khazakstan

Brokeback won honors,

but Crash took an Oscar...

So did Phillip,

and Reese

Few actors were hotter.

It was a big year for George...

Scoring an Oscar surprise...

And sexiest man in the world...

In one magazine's eyes.

And speaking of eyes,

They seemed everywhere...

On Lindsay

On Paris

On KFed and Britney

On TomKat

On Angie

On Bobby and Whitney

Katie took Dan's chair...

Vieira took Katies...

Rosie joined the View

But Star left those ladies.

Save the cheerleader, save the world

Heck, save a network to boot.

While a bald guy named Howie...

Gave out oodles of loot.

This year brought us smiles...

And a tear now and then.

As we escaped for a moment

Again and again

On the biggest

Of big screens...

On the smallest

Of small...

Whether download

Or ticket,

There was something for all.

- Mark Barger














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